Allow me to reintroduce myself and Welcome to Prittae Glam blog formerly Prittaetouchnblush. I decided to condense my blog’s name, it was a too long.
I am in no way shape or form an expert on processing emotions, dealing with hardships or relationships. This post is completely my personal struggles as a woman, mother and partner hopefully I can shed light to someone and vise versa. A couple of weeks ago around my birthday I found myself in a runt, but this runt is a recurring cycle in my life especially on this day. So the Scorpio in me tried to box up my feelings and throw it where I normally do to deal with at later time. Why? I don’t know about you but I always seem to see signs when I’m in an uncomfortable space with myself whether it be an IG post, a qoute or a lyric. The fact of the matter is THAT MANY OF US KNOW THE ANSWERS TO OUR QUESTIONS. We as human beings are always seeking validation. I for one believe I am coping with my emotional baggage. I never really dealt with the things I was missing in my childhood, I’ve learned really young to not reciprocate unwanted love to the point it is second nature to me. Once a person shows me their ass to kiss our relationship will never be the same rather I’m never the same. I barely realize I do it as an adult with kids of my own. My mom was the strength of my family, I seen alot of hurt through her eyes and never wanted to experience hurt myself. But they say the apple don’t fall far from the tree, why is that? Are we cursed as my mom once told me. Can you imagine a beautiful woman carrying that burden of believing her family ( especially the women ) to have a generational curse on them? My great grandmother suffered, my grandmother suffered, my mom suffered and my sister and I in some ways have dealt with pain. I hope my daughter doesn’t endure this.
As ladies I don’t feel we have a strong community where we can unite and be there for one another, and I don’t mean a man bashing seminar. There aren’t any workshops on what to really expect as a mother. There’s no manual on processing your emotions, or how to be a woman or the best woman you can be. Shit where is Michelle Obama when you need her. Our grandparents, mothers, aunts just teach us through their eyes but 9 times out 10 no one properly taught them, leaving us lost in many ways. You think because you fall in love and start a family that’s the foundation to a perfect life. Whew I wish that was true. It is the beginning of most’s downfall. I try to be an optimist in my personal life no matter how someone may try to make me feel. I’m not always successful, but I have developed a stronger skin these days. I remind myself of the great aspects I offer myself, my children, family and friends. I try to ignore and walk away from negativity, ( a bit of a struggle with the Scorpio temperment ). But something that help me alot is my spirituality. I am a PuertoRican woman born in P.R. with heavy puertorican roots. In my eyes there’s nothing in this world that would make me ashamed of being a Bori. I embrace it and my spirituality follows this pride. I will share my spirituality on a later post, things can get a bit tense when speaking on religion and beliefs and while I accept everyone’s beliefs, and I myself believe in multiple, I can agree to disagree with someone who isn’t as openminded. The fact that I can have that personal relationship with God and Saint’s gives me the anmulition to combat any signs of depression, any signs of a nervous breakdown, any signs of self hatred, any signs of low self esteem. Trust we all have our days but I lock them bitches up in that closet and keep it pushing as should you.
How does one heal? I’m not sure, but I do know time is key and sometimes time is never enough. I know I tend to get triggered with issues I had over 20 years ago. Believe me it’s a working process, but If we don’t have something to escape to then we are stuck in a miserable state. I recommend meditation, get your vibrations flowing, listen to music, get up and dance, sing, laugh, hell cry if you have to, the point is to not hold these nasty ugly emotions inside for too long. It turns us into miserable human beings.
Thanks For Listening, I hope this post can help someone….
“As ladies I don’t feel we have a strong community where we can unite and be there for one another.”